I. Around April I gave up eating rice for a month. Not because I wanted to lose weight, but I realized that rice was my catalyst to over-eating - "Just one plate of nasi + sambal belacan + ikan masin + ulam? NEVAHH. Bring on the other 2." That sort of thing. As a result I think I've lost at least an inch around my thighs and can fit into some old pants (yeslah). I feel lighter, eating better. Have already gone back to eating rice but only before 2pm and most days I still don't eat rice. Feels like breaking up with a lover, it does. Which brings me to
II. Fauzan and I have parted ways. I loved him more than life, but the intensity of it was too overwhelming. I wish him well.
II-I. Parents still don't know yet. My ma has just gotten used to the idea of him (ie saying his name without making a face). Cik Idah knows; she's the only adult within a million mile radius I would confide in about something like this. But nobody else in the family knows yet, and I'm keeping it that way for a while.
III. Internship is supposed to start soon. Decided to take July off to breathe, so am going to be working in August & September. Narrowed it down to three choices: *scape in Singapore, malaysiakini or iseekmusic. I really hope I get to work in Singapore; other than having to put my music classes on hold, it would be a very very welcome change of pace. Parents have agreed, Hougang Ave 5 has agreed. malaysiakini would be awesome too, and interning at iseekmusic is probably the best plan C I could have ever come up with.
III-I. At first dad agreed, thinking I was aiming to work in a commercial / corporate company. To which I replied Whatever gave you that idea?' and he goes into a litany of how I should be interning at the kind of place where I will be working at later, yadayadayada. To which I then replied 'Well, yes, that's why I want to intern at a youth council.' What upsets me about all of this is that they don't respect what I want out of life and refuse to listen when I want to talk with them about important things like this. But that's another story altogether.
IV. Dizzy & The are recording! This makes me a very happy camper :) Our adventures in the studio, among others, are documented here. Li is possibly the cutest recording virgin ever. Adek has been keeping us company (but of course). And Mokhtar is just seventeen kinds of awesome to be patient enough to put up with our shenanigans and we are grateful.
IV-I. Saying that ma is not handling me coming back late a lot very well would be a massive understatement. I could go on and on and bitch but I do know where she's coming from. I just wish she would see where I'm coming from too.
IV-I-I. Evil and I are speaking again, though I don't know how long it will last. He's actually on my side about this whole non-issue. Abang's no use at times like these. He got out of the frying pan years ago and is not about to jump into the fire. I don't blame him.
V. I've been thinking about future plans, even more than I usually do (if that's possible). Dad planted the idea of me studying for my Master's in a Spanish-speaking country and of course I made a beeline for them Argentine universities. The most promising so far is Master's in Social Work at National University of La Plata (program outline here). I would really like to find a happy medium between my communication studies, my musical life and my dream to work with social and community programs. Right now I only have time and brainspace to concentrate effectively with 2 out of 3. I foresee that once I finish school I can commit myself to something more concrete in the realm of social work. Am going to spend the next month finding out what existing programs are in place by authorities and NGOs and how they are run.
Of course, I also want to spend a summer in Berklee, learn shoemaking and carpentry and printmaking, be a certified wildlife rehabilitator, start my own vegetable garden, enrol in pilot lessons, finally earn my DipABRSM and go on to FRSM, etc. Nobody is immortal, yes, but it's nice to plan your life as if you were.
VI. Friends.
VI-I. I miss my old friends. Some of them are back for holidays, some back for good. I don't spend as much time with them as I'd like, but when I do, it feels like everything and nothing has changed. A recurring theme in my life these days, but beside the point. It's disconcerting, and I can't find it in me to reconcile then and now. Growing up, it sucks.
VI-II. I adore my new friends. These past few years have been an explosion of new friends, new places to confide and to find comfort in. There really is no way I could have gone through the years and come out relatively unscathed and smiling if it weren't for them, and for that I am thankful.
VII. I wanted to write at length about something. About someone. But those who I want to know about it already know more than they need to. So I'll just enigmatically (and frustratingly) leave it at this.
All I needed was for you to ask me to stay. But you didn't. So I didn't.
Dexter's so dreamy. I mean, I know it's messed up, but we always have to remember not to go too squee over Dexter...
What's the word? Squee?
S-q-u-e-e.
Tell me what it means, because I love it.
It's a sound fangirls make when they're really excited by something.
So, you often use that as a word?
Yes.
Oh, that's great. I love it. You are going to see that in a script somewhere.
!!!
(Because I don't have a speaking partner, I'll just pass on whatever I learned in class to whoever's reading so I can practice my writing at least!)
First lesson this week was the alfabeto, identifying masculino and femenino objects, and numerales cardinales. We're to study introductions and numbers and will be tested with a bingo game next class :D I love my teacher, she's amusing and helpful (and hot) and insists on speaking in Spanish as much as possible which is confusing but necessary. Need to study los verbos ser y llamarse, and how to count up to cien. Die lor. Anyway. Introductions!
¿Cómo te llamas? (komo te jamas, What is your name?)
Me llamo Alia. (me jamo your name here)
¿Cuántos años tienes? (kuantos anyos tienes?, How old are you? literally 'How many years do you have?')
Tengo veintitres. (ten-go your age here)
(comment/ask me to get your age in Spanish! will be good practice for me)
The next two have to do with where you are from; the first is nationality (as nobody there really cares about race) and which area/city you are from.
¿Cuál es tu nacionalidad? (kual es tu nathionalidad?)
Soy malasia. (soi your nationality here)
¿De dónde eres? (de donde eres?)
De Kuala Lumpur. (de your area/city here)
*the Spanish pronounce every letter and syllable, with the notable exception of 'H', which is silent. All E's are pronounced much like Rihanna's "eh eh eh" in 'Umbrella' (sorry best description I could think of hehe)
Hasta la proxima semana!
For so many reasons I can't even begin to say.
Ok so The Sims 3 has been announced, though I can't for the life of me get through to the website (probably because 20 million people are trying to get through themselves). From whatever sneak peeks I can find though, I actually am very apprehensive about playing this. It's starting to get way too real for comfort. Frankly the new screenshots freak me out. I already see interaction pie charts on every object and person I pass by as it is. Maybe I'll just stick to The Sims 2.
..Maybe la.
The sun is out today. Maybe it'll last, I don't know, maybe by saying it I just jinxed good weather to hell. It's been raining everyday since I got here last Saturday. EVERY DAY. Now I'm leaving tomorrow and the sun decides to show up to stick its tongue out at me and go nyehnyeh. But I bitch.
Dizzy & The's set was lovely - thank you Adel for putting it together even though you were shit busy. I flaked out on backing Latitude but I wasn't ready (sorry Li). Everything else was smooth-ish. What's left to do now is to flesh out the tracks properly so we can record the EP/album. Other than that I've been spending quality time with Yan: staying up finding anything remotely good to watch on TV, getting caught in the rain, waking him up with that godawful stuffed camel that bleats out nasyids.
Anyway, the sun's out. I should probably enjoy it while it lasts.
(About time, really)
For a water-bearer, I sure am not really good at it. It gets on the floor when I pour it, on my shirt when I drink it (I'm actually a 2 year old I swear), on the table when I serve it. Every time. Every single time.
...I wonder if there's a metaphor in there somewhere.
A tapas run with two best friends ending with taking the reeaaally long way back home to a three-way cuddle watching Dexter made for one of the most memorable nights in my quiet uneventful life.
